You have a voice – USE IT!

School reports

When I was at primary school, my reports often commented on me being a chatterbox. I always seemed to have something to say, even if it wasn’t relevant to the topic we were meant to be discussing (as I was also often daydreaming so wasn’t quite sure what was going on, ha ha!) After a few years I developed a stammer and had the ‘joy’ of going to elocution lessons for a while too. The stammer eventually resolved itself and I continued through school eventually becoming a teacher myself, standing up at the front of classes for about 20 years, being the focal point in the room and spouting forth to those “eager” learners.

So why does the title “You Have a Voice Ministries” resonate with me?

I silenced myself

Well, it’s fair to say that people who have met me in the past few years might be surprised to know that I was ever called a chatterbox and would perhaps struggle to see me as being someone who is comfortable at the front of a classroom commanding everyone’s attention. In fact, for the last decade or so I have often felt like I have been silenced.

It isn’t appropriate to go into all the circumstances which led to this, but recently I have been on a journey of processing some of the reasons and as I have done so I have realised that the only person who has silenced me has been ME. I stopped speaking out to ‘protect’ myself primarily, but also to protect others’ feelings in what was a difficult situation. However, as time went on this silencing became more and more ingrained until eventually it felt like it had somehow become my identity.

BUT GOD…..Came to set the captives free (Luke 4:18)

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free,”

Says I have a voice, and He wants to hear it (Song of Songs 2:14)

My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.

Has delivered me, and the right response to that is for me to declare His goodness and

sing His praise (Psalms 71:23)

My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you— I whom you have delivered.

Writing a blog

So, what does this look like for me? Well, daring to put ‘pen to paper’ to write this little blog for a start. I’m no author, and this really isn’t the traditional blog like we normally have on here – but just daring to voice aloud what God is saying and doing in my life currently is a start.

Those who know me also will know I love to worship. I have probably been singing in worship groups for about 20 years now. I know that God has called me to sing out more freely as He brings His healing – but that is scary!!

It’s one thing writing something in a blog and being able to rephrase it and delete it as often as is required. But singing out publicly in front of people? Well, that’s a WHOLE different level of vulnerability, isn’t it?!

However – who is worship about? Who is it for? Who is it to? Worship and praise are for an audience of One, so in this time of daring to open my mouth and sing out, I need to keep in mind that it’s only for and about Him.

Regarding singing, I have had a battle for my voice over the past few years in this area too – I have experienced several bouts of losing my voice over the last 13 years or so and this has recently been attributed to vocal strain. Is it a ‘coincidence’ I wonder that I have been losing my voice periodically during the time when I have felt ‘silenced’? I think not!

The current reality is that I can now speak again, and I can sing (albeit much lower than I used to) and I’m only given to the occasional coughing fit these days. However there still remains a reticence to step out in leading worship as I have done in the past as I can no longer reach the notes and sing the melody to lead the congregation.

Playing the flute

I am choosing to trust that in time this will be restored, but interestingly during the last bout of voice loss I ended up picking up my flute again which I hadn’t played in worship for many years. Lo and behold, He seems to be unlocking a new way of playing which I previously hadn’t done. It’s still very new to me, I’m still having to be brave enough to step out in it, and I’m still terrified at the prospect much of the time! But it’s right and so I’m pushing on through and finding a new way to express my worship.

In this season then, I’m trusting that He will place his words in my mouth, He will help me to speak, and He will teach me what to say. I know that He has done it before – for Jeremiah and Moses, and for countless others.

Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth.” Jeremiah 1:9 NIV

Now go! I will help you as you speak and will teach you what to say.

Exodus 4:12 NIV

You have a voice - use it!

Karen Summerfield