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Your words are only a vehicle that transports the Spirit you are carrying!

When my relationship with the Lord was very new, He made it known through someone else He would like me to get up and speak in the middle of our School Christingle Service, (it was not a Church School but a community school). I was petrified, I did not have a clue what to say. Even though in the busy schedule at school as well as home I dedicated time to seek His voice by getting up early in the morning, nothing was coming.


Two nights before the service I was babysitting (an agreement I had made some months before} - yes, overcommitting my time again. Off I went rushing from school to home to make tea and out again to babysit with laptop, Christmas cards and three other jobs on my list to do as well as the mindset of ‘once I’ve got this baby in bed’. I walked into the bedroom with her mum (thank God she was all ready and in bed). I peeped over the cot


Baby smiling in cot
Unconditional love

and in that moment when she looked at me and beamed the most beautiful smile, time stopped! Every bag, burden and worry left as I gazed at her, and she gazed at me. All of ‘the stuff’ I had come with; thoughts of not being enough, always feeling that I got it wrong and falling short, the buzzing of the busyness, that there was too much to do, too many things vying for my attention, all coming at me and feeling overwhelmed, they fell away in a heartbeat! Oh my gosh! The look of delight on her face, as I was met with welcoming eyes and a beaming smile, the feeling of utter delight and unconditional love …she was just delighted to see me!


At that moment I knew what I was going to share! How had I missed that before? Even in reading the Bible story, amid the events surrounding the birth of Jesus I had missed stopping to just see Him, just meet Him face to face, just see myself through His eyes and receive His delight and His love. From that position and place of rest the pressure of striving for an answer fell off and the revelation I had experienced was a light that led the way. What a revelation; in my prayer time I had been asking, I had been seeking answers and understanding to know how and what to do but not the pure motive of spending time with Him, to be with Him, to seek Him.


The evening came and I arose and gave the story of my busyness and how I had been stopped in my tracks and invited the congregation this Christmas to come closer and peer into the manger and let the face of God smile at them too, for God SO LOVED the world He sent His only begotten Son.

 

Well, you would think I was dancing all the way home, but after the initial euphoria the thoughts of getting it wrong or missing something all came rushing back. I was apologising if I hadn’t used the right words or had omitted important points. He cut through all the noise and said, “Your words are only a vehicle that transports the Spirit you are carrying” …

I had to repeat it to myself. The words that I spoke were only a vehicle to transport whatever spirit I was carrying (or being moved by). That was quite a weight and revelation to take in.


Bible verse Luke 6:45
Luke 6:45

I was reminded that, “The heart speaks what the heart is full of”. (Luke 6.45). The agenda of my heart had not been LOVE but knowledge and understanding, although well intentioned, to deliver only what He wanted me to say; my heart was not only barking up the wrong tree but feeding from the wrong tree! If I had spoken from the tree of knowledge, it may have been clever and sounded good, but it would not have carried the power of the HOLY SPIRIT to touch hearts, that is only gained through the tree of life.


There were lots of beautiful lessons for me. I learned:


  • That He is the most tender teacher, and I can trust Him. He always teaches as a loving father.

  • That only He can search my heart and so tenderly reveal my hidden motives and convince  me to let go, isn’t that true repentance.

  • It is always His goodness to reveal the impure motives of our heart as He desires us to have fullness of life.

  • He is constantly available and delights in our seeking time with Him.

  • He knows how to speak to His children and touch hearts (ours and those who have not yet encountered the truth of His love).

  • That he could have answered my prayers but his silence was a kindness leading me to a deeper revelation of the truth of the relationship opened to me through His Son Jesus.  

  • The words I speak are not as important as the place in my heart they flow from.

  • But mostly I learned that in Psalm 139 where David asks, “Search me God and know my heart: test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting” is a safe prayer to pray. 

 

 

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